Pro Sports Franchises That Lost Their Luster

In pro sports, like in life, the future is uncertain, and the end is always near.

It’s one of the few sure bets in pro sports. The higher the climb, the harder the fall.

It’s like Moe Greene said to Mike Corleone in The Godfather: “Yeah, let’s talk business, Mike. First of all, you’re all done. The Corleone Family don’t even have that kind of muscle anymore. The Godfather’s sick, right? You’re getting chased out of New York by Barzini and the other families. What do you think is going on here?”

So, let’s talk about the franchises that have lost their way, the one-time heavyweights that don’t have that kind of muscle anymore. What do you think is going on here? Plenty of bad moves, that’s what…

30. New England Patriots

Doug Murray / AP Photo

Seasons: 62 (1960-present)

AFL-NFL championships: 6

Most recent championship: 2020 (Super Bowl LIII)

Bottom line: A Bill Belichick-coached team got fricasseed 47-17 in the playoffs? By the Buffalo Bills? I mean, they can’t even cheat right anymore. The Patriots have become so meh that it’s almost hard to despise them. I said almost, people.

29. Boston Celtics

Lynne Sladky / AP Photo

Seasons: 73 (1949-present)

NBA championships: 1

Most recent championship: 2013

Bottom line: OK, the Celtics would have been much higher on this list if they hadn’t made it to the NBA finals in 2022, but still, they’ve won only one league title in the last 34 years. At least they have the black-and-white highlights from the good old, old, old, old, old days.

28. Chicago Cubs

Frank Franklin II / AP Photo

Seasons: 145

World Series championships: 3

Most recent championship: 2016

Bottom line: Only years removed from their first World Series since the Taft Administration, the No. 1 team in the No. 3 market in the county embarked on a rebuild all of a sudden. What is this — Tacoma? The Cubbies are the Blue Whale in a division of goldfish and minnows. They should have 90 W’s before the first pitch is thrown.

27. Arsenal

David Cliff / AP Photo

Seasons: 131 (1891-present)

Major championships: 31

Most recent championship: 2019-20 (FA Cup)

Bottom line: Like with his Super Bowl champion Los Angeles Rams, Gunners owner Stan Kroenke has emptied his deep pockets for talent. The results are continents apart. The personnel wonks have a penchant for overpriced underachievers, and until that changes, the club will continue to be wannabes.

26. Los Angeles Lakers

Ashley Landis / AP Photo

Seasons: 74 (1948-present)

NBA championships: 17

Most recent championship: 2020

Bottom line: Antonio Davis, LeBron James and Russell Westbrook. Never mind the salary cap. When I become NBA commish, there will be a limit on head cases per team.

25. Pittsburgh Steelers

Jeff Dean / AP Photo

Seasons: 89

NFL championships: 6

Most recent championship: 2008 (Super Bowl XLIII)

Bottom line: The Stillers haven’t won a playoff game in five seasons, and some of the losses were real doozies. As Joe Burrow conceded in the 2021 season, “We have higher aspirations than beating the Steelers right now.” When a Cincinnati Bengal throws you down like that, you know you’re irrelevant.

24. New York Yankees

Adam Hunger / AP Photo

Seasons: 119 (1903-present)

World Series championships: 27

Most recent championship: 2009

Bottom line: The Bronx Bombers have become so blah, they’ve been downgraded to passenger turboprops. Will the next George Steinbrenner please stand up as soon as possible if not earlier?

23. New Jersey Devils

Matt Slocum / AP Photo

Seasons: 47 (1974-present)

Stanley Cup championships: 3

Most recent Stanley Cup championship: 2003

Bottom line: There was a time when the Devils were a thing despite their tedious brand of hockey. The young nucleus has promise, but with one playoff victory in the last 10 seasons, the No. 3 team in a three-team market will remain an afterthought in the New York sports chain.

22. San Antonio Spurs

Eric Gay / AP Photo

Seasons: 55 (1967-present)

NBA championships: 5

Most recent championship: 2014

Bottom line: The Spurs have morphed into just another mid-market NBA team that’s doomed to mediocrity at best. Meanwhile, Gregg Popovich has won as many league titles without David Robinson or Tim Duncan as your humble servant. The number is zero.

21. Seattle Seahawks

Stephen Brashear / AP Photo

Seasons: 46 (1976-present)

NFL championships: 1

Most recent championship: 2013 (Super Bowl XLVIII)

Bottom line: The nanosecond that Russell Wilson threw that grossly ill-advised, historically bad pass late in Super Bowl IL, the franchise began to go down the spitter. Will the last person to leave Lumen Field please unplug those blasted seismometers?

20. Arizona Diamondbacks

Brandon Sloter / AP Photo

Seasons: 24 (1998-present)

World Series championships: 1

Most recent championship: 2001

Bottom line: The expansion D-backs got off to a great start, but they’ve become the typical mid-market MLB franchise that struggles to sustain success. Ten years have passed since they finished within 10 games of first place. The good news is, the Snakes can’t get any lower than their 110 losses of last season, right?

19. New York Giants

Mark Humphrey / AP Photo

Seasons: 97 (1925-present)

NFL championships: 8

Most recent championship: 2011 (Super Bowl XLVI)

Bottom line: Two Super victories over the New England Patriots will go a long way. But after a mere two .500-plus seasons in the last 10, not to mention nary a playoff win, the G-Men are in the same zip code of the Jets in more ways than one.

18. Tottenham Hotspurs

Armando Franca / AP Photo

Seasons: 140 (1882-present)

Major championships: 24

Most recent championship: 2007-08 (English Football League Cup)

Bottom line: After three consecutive top-three finishes (2015-18), many believed the “Team of the Future” was primed for their first-ever Premier League trophy. But when the going got tougher, this otherwise talented bunch reverted to its soft ways of the past. It’s past time for big shooter Harry Kane to move on.

17. Edmonton Oilers

Marcio Jose Sanchez / AP Photo

Seasons: 42 (1980-present)

Stanley Cup championships: 5

Most recent championship: 1990

Bottom line: Wayne Gretzky and the Oilers forged their legacy with five Stanley Cups in a seven-year span. The Great Old One is 62 now. Connor McDavid, your plane is boarding without you…

16. New York Islanders

Frank Franklin II / AP Photo

Seasons: 49 (1972-present)

Stanley Cup championships: 4

Most recent Stanley Cup championship: 1983

Bottom line: The move out of ancient Nassau County Coliseum was an opportunity for the franchise to turn the corner. But nooooo, old farts Barry Trotz and Lou Lamoriello spoiled the party with more of their rope-a-dope hockey. Forget the new arena. This franchise needs a new direction.

15. Dallas Cowboys

Matt Patterson / AP Photo

Seasons: 62 (1960-present)

NFL championships: 5

Most recent championship: 1995 (Super Bowl XXX)

Bottom line: AT&T Stadium covers 3 million square feet, but it’s really not that large. Nearly half are reserved for team owner Jerry Jones and his ego. As long as the team owner has his fingerprints on the draft, free agency, the trade market, the game plan and who knows what the hell else, America’s Scream will remain the most overhyped underachiever in all of sports.

14. Manchester United

Dave Thompson / AP Photo

Seasons: 120 (1902-present)

Major championships: 42

Most recent championship: 2016-17 (UEFA Europa League)

Bottom line: Man U. remains competitive — how can it not with its monstrous payroll? — but just OK is the new standard for the jugger-nots. It seems like eons ago that the Red Devils were Premier League champs. The truth is, Manchester City is their smart, rich, handsome uncle.

13. Detroit Pistons

Carlos Osorio / AP Photo

Seasons: 73 (1949-present)

NBA championships: 3

Most recent championship: 2004

Bottom line: The erstwhile Bad Boys have become just plain bad, boy. They haven’t won a playoff game in 13 years. That’s a dozen consecutive losses and counting for you snoring at home. Bring back Bill Laimbeer (as head coach)!

12. Chicago Blackhawks

Nick Wass / AP Photo

Seasons: 95 (1926-present)

Stanley Cup championships: 6

Most recent Stanley Cup championship: 2015

Bottom line: The front office wonks mismanaged the salary cap and held on to the Stanley Cup nucleus too long. Then they canceled 82-year-old Bobby Hull, the franchise GOAT who did more for the Indian Head than any person ever. Chicago has had 23- and 49-year Stanley Cup droughts before. Figure the next one to be 2050 or so.

11. Detroit Red Wings

Carlos Osorio / AP Photo

Seasons: 95 (1926-present)

Stanley Cup championships: 11

Most recent championship: 2008

Bottom line: After a record 25 consecutive playoff appearances, it was only a matter of time before the Winged Wheels blew a tire. But did the inevitable rebuild have to be so long and painful? This has the feel of the 1980s all over again.

10. Oakland/Las Vegas Raiders

Jeff Lewis / AP Photo

Seasons: 62 (1960-present)

NFL championships: 3

Most recent championship: 1983 (Super Bowl XVIII)

Bottom line: Whatever happened to Pride and Poise? They haven’t moved to Vegas, that’s for dang sure. “Just Win, Baby” has become J”ust Be Mediocre, Brah.”

9. Toronto Maple Leafs

Michael Dwyer / AP Photo

Seasons: 104 (1917-present)

Stanley Cup championships: 13

Most recent Stanley Cup championship: 1967

Bottom line: Bereave it or not, the Maple Leafs have never hoisted a Stanley Cup in more than an eight-team league. That was so long ago, the names were etched in fountain pen. Then again, who wants to play in a human pressure-cooker where flags fly at half mast after every loss?

8. Buffalo Sabres

David Duprey / AP Photo

Seasons: 51 (1970-present)

Stanley Cup championships: 0

Most recent championship: 0

Bottom line: While I scanned the dial the other afternoon, I came across a college hockey game. No, wait — it was the Sabres in a private exhibition. That’s what 13 consecutive seasons without a sniff of the playoffs can do to a formerly great pucks town. Heck, that’s almost harder to do than lose four consecutive Super Bowls.

7. Miami Dolphins

Doug Murray / AP Photo

Seasons: 56 (1966-present)

NFL championships: 2

Most recent championship: 1973 (Super Bowl VIII)

Bottom line: After the ‘Phins were barbecued in Super Bowl XIX, star quarterback Dan Marino was fairly confident that the Orange and Teal would be back again. Thirty-eight years and 12 head coaches later, it still hasn’t happened.

6. Chicago Bears

Kamil Krzaczynski / AP Photo

Seasons: 102 (1920-present)

NFL championships: 9

Most recent championship: 1985 (Super Bowl XX)

Bottom line: Congrats, Chicago. This is your third team on the list. This one wants a new stadium in the suburbs. What Bears fans want is a pro offense that has the forward pass in its game plan. Waiting, still waiting…

5. Montreal Canadiens

Karl B DeBlaker / AP Photo

Seasons: 104 (1917-present)

Stanley Cup championships: 25

Most recent championship: 1986

Bottom line: The Canadiens forged their legacy in a six-team league when they had the Quebec talent pool to themselves. Now that the ice surface has leveled out, the Canadiens mystique is deader than the Expos right now.

4. Baltimore Orioles

Terrance Williams / AP Photo

Seasons: 121 (1901-present)

World Series championships: 3

Most recent championship: 1983

Bottom line: Since the turn of the century, the O’s have lost 90-or-more games 12 times and 100-plus three times. Can longtime attorney-team owner Peter Angelos sue himself for gross negligence of a baseball franchise and whatever fans it has left?

3. Pittsburgh Pirates

Aaron Doster / AP Photo

Seasons: 140 (1882-present)

World Series championships: 5

Most recent championship: 1979

Bottom line: The battlin’ Buccos drew barely 800,000 people to its jewel of a ballpark last season. Ohhh, so that’s why they scheduled a Tumbleweed Night promotion this season…

2. New York Knicks

Matt Slocum / AP Photo

Seasons: 73 (1940-present)

NBA championships: 2

Most recent championship: 1973

Bottom line: The Knicks won one league title in the last 52 seasons and three playoff series this century. Basketball mecca? Seriously? Things are so bad, ex-mayor Bill de Blasio has threatened a blindfold mandate at the World’s Most Torturous Arena.

1. Philadelphia Flyers

Joshua Bessex / AP Photo

Seasons: 54 (1967-present)

Stanley Cup championships: 2

Most recent championship: 1975

Bottom line: Have you ever seen the Flyers win the Cup? Just as the Broad Street Bullies gave hockey a black eye that it took years to recover, the Big Scorer in the Sky has responded in kind. I bet Dale Rolfe is lovin’ this. (Just YouTube him.)